BEL MOONEY: Shall I tell everyone my husband cheated on me with other men?
They met in high school, they were in the same school, and since then they have always been together. Even job transferred from his university to join Jake where he studied.
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Jake has a man cave in the house and this is where he mostly hangs out with Job. They watch football and play video games there. Jake had told me that they would be watching football but the match had ended an hour ago. He was already 30 minutes late from picking up Jb from his tennis practice, and the coach called me to ask if someone was picking him up.
So I stood up and went to look for my husband so he could pick up Jb. When I reached the corridor I noticed that the man cave was very quiet.
3 Mistakes Women Make When Men Cheat
Usually when they watch football and play video games they always make noise cheering. Reaching closer I noticed funny sounds, of someone breathing heavily. The door was not locked, and so I did not bother to nock but just opened it slowly. What I saw shocked me beyond words. Jake and Job were kissing and making out on the coach, job was completely naked while Jake had only his boxers on.
Jake just looked at me and could not say anything. After some minutes, I broke the silence and asked him what the hell he was doing. He continued glancing at me and then later tried to explain himself. He told me that Job has always been his lover since high school.
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Nobody knew about their relationship apart from some of their high school friends. He has always played safe so that I would not suspect anything. He married me so that his family and other people saw that he was normal. I could not believe my ears, after hearing his words I could not stand there anymore.
Rather than confront the fact that this person and I were emotionally incompatible, I cheated. There ended up being a lot of tension, as he expected me to do all the work to make our relationship 'spark' again, and didn't lift a finger, didn't communicate with me, and didn't really react when I did try. Eventually, I got tired of bothering and slept with someone else to get my needs met.
I didn't feel like myself in it, so I emotionally cheated on my ex with a few other men. I asked him multiple times what our end game was for the relationship, but he kept saying, 'let's see where this goes. We were drifting apart, but we were both too lazy to break it off. Finally, I cheated on him, not once, but twice, both one night stands.
"I desired an emotional attachment"
The second time was on my birthday—after five years of being in a 'relationship' with this man, he still couldn't remember the exact day of my birthday. When midnight had passed and I didn't receive an email, phone call, or message, I went to a club with some friends, and that's when I went home with a guy. I would say it was the straw that broke the camel's back, but if I was honest with myself, it was broken long before that. Then, I met someone who wanted to have sex with me and we had a two-month-long affair and it was hot.
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My boyfriend and I ended up getting back together a few months after he went away to law school. Here's what they shared: Why men have cheated "For the first time, women were hitting on me" "I cheated on my girlfriend because I could. He even maintained contact with them more than one just in case I ever kicked him out. It only took a few weeks for me to get over the pain and now, I'm pretty much numb to the whole thing.
In the past, I wanted to work things out, make it better, etc. I have given him more than one second chance. Each time with him saying he stopped when indeed he hadn't.
This time, I just can't seem to get my heart to care. If we are able to repair it, good if not, who cares. The thing I do worry about is if I do indeed go for a divorce, he will have nowhere to go. We moved closer to my family so HE could go to school. My family has helped us do sooooo much, including getting him through his last certification.
I pushed and supported him through college into his Master's program. I gave up my dreams of finishing school three classes away from a Bachelor's degree so we could afford to send him. I've always pushed him and taken the back seat. I love him but quite honestly can't stand him. There are days when I drive as slowly as I can because I dread getting home to him. I'm not sure if I want a divorce or not. We have children from 19 to age 4 and I don't want to hurt my children by making them "kids of divorce. At one point, I did try cheating. I went online and created a profile and even talked to one guy.
Trouble maybe not a bad thing is that I have too much respect for myself and the fact that I am indeed still married to do anything beyond a few non-sexual messages. I deleted the profile after only two days.
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